I Want to Know What to Do Next Time

“ I want to know what to do next time.”

These heartfelt words were spoken by a dear childhood friend following a suicide attempt during his mid-adult years. Throughout an intense three-hour conversation marked by candor and vulnerability, he shared his attempt and survival experience. Nothing I had learned or practiced in my professional nursing career matched the lessons he provided for me.

He taught me that suicidality is not about wishing to die but about wishing to escape emotional pain so deep and dark that no other option is perceived as viable.

As an inpatient, he demonstrated his will to live as he remained proactive for himself and others. For example, a daily afternoon outdoor walk for the inpatients was compromised due to weather and lack of coats but my friend, true to his humanitarian nature, lobbied for having a used coat collection available for inpatients. He was successful.

Most importantly, he taught me that a plan for safety and for coping with dark thoughts was a priority. He earnestly sought pragmatic solutions for the eventual ‘next time’ he would face the wish to escape the insufferable pain.

Fast forward 25 years, and I am in the midst of the life-affirming work of SPEAK Network’s education and training programs which echo my friend’s simple request, “ I want to know what to do next time.”

Keeping those in crisis safe and engaged in personal self-empowerment are vital steps for answering this question. To learn how to create a safety plan see blog post How to Create a Safety Plan.

Dr. Mary Minton